Dealing with Life

I have a Confession!

I have been falling back into my old ways...Candy, Cookies, Cake. Just a little here, just a little there..."oh I deserve a desert today, I ate my veggies",  I haven't gained any weight thank goodness, however, even with two different kinds of medications going into me, my blood sugars have stayed at 200 - 350..... this is bad.


High blood sugar causes mood swings, brain fog, more achs and pains, not to mention having to pea all the time and I'm so thirsty all night... And yes I do know the long term concequenses; heart problems, kidney problems, loss of limbs, blindness, PAIN,PAIN, Pain, pain.......Well, things got really bad for me yesterday,
I haven't been exorcising (giving into the pain in my foot and back).

Yesterday, I watched Conference, was feeling tired and wanted to take a nap, but we hadn't had lunch and Jimmy wanted hot dogs with chili.  I really didn't want to do anything, but I want in and tried... I put the hot dogs on  the pan to cook and promptly burned my fingers (not bothering to use a fork), then I looked for a can of chili, and after dropping cans out of the cupboard on my feet Ouch! I finally found one can which was bent.
After several complete tries around the can with the can opener, I couldn't get it open..my dogs were burning, and I still had to grade the cheese! crap! I got so mad... I became un rashional and started beating on the can, and prying on it with a bottle opener. I still couldn't get it open. I stopped, looked at the bent up deformed can with chili juice oozing out of the holes I had stabbed in it. I cried and ground my teeth I was so mad. Then I put it in a bag and threw it away.  Jimmy came in and found another can and had no problem opening it and fixed the hot dogs.
I was embarrassed, dizzy, hurting, and exhausted, I just couldn't think straight and not hungry... I just craved a chocolate bar. I resisted the temptation.

I laied down and listened as our Prophet and the General Authorities spoke of love and caring for each other and turning to the Lord for guidance.
That's what I did. I feel asleep while praying for help from the Lord.